You shine so bright,
Giving the blind night,
Tearing apart with the light,
A smile just at your sight,
In the haste you receede,
Though we still have your need,
As you set in the west in speed,
On my knees I am and plead,
Stay over, as we love to see,
In your beauty we love to be,
Awestruck with our eyes,
Enjoying the cool breeze,
Nights are dark without you,
Miss the passion I have for you,
I never realized, I never knew,
Still there is one beautiful than you!
As I was about to sleep, I could see the moon through the window and couldnt stop myself from writing this poem.
India
Lovely ending
Thanks Jerly
True there is still none more beutiful and romantic than the moon. I too dable in some poetry. Hope u will check out
http://jerlyt.blogspot.com/ . Under the label Poetry
Jerky, thank you for your comments and welcome to my blog!
Nice lines… men see moon as female.. wonder if women tend to see it as male.. 😉
Blognostic, welcome to my blog!
I never heard or felt Moon as female, but an object of beauty. And as far as I know, women too feel it the same way. 🙂
Wonderful creation! especially loved the last stanza !
Hey Abhi,
Thank you mate, yep, those last lines came out really well…
Wow! Such a beautiful one. Loved these lines esp.
Nights are dark without you,
Miss the passion I have for you,
I never realized, I never knew,
Still there is one beautiful than you!
Good luck!
Thank you very much Harsha, and welcome to my blog!!
These lines were the punch lines.. 😉
A classic poem, that rings a bell…:)
Musings of a Wanderer
Thank you Shreya and welcome to my blog..
hi hemal!
first of all, great work! but i wonder if you really need to try to rhyme the sentences ? i see sparks of poetic capability taken down by the need to rhyme.maybe try writing freely the next time, paying more attention to descriptions, metaphor, word choice , figures of speech.the reason i am saying that rhyming can hamper word-choice, unless you are a seasoned poet, try to stay away from rhyming and go for other, better things.
on the whole a nice poem, but you could do way better! wishes!
you
Hey Nishkam, welcome to my blog!
Thanks for the comments and I am sure I will keep these in mind. For me, Rhymes keep the poem going. Many a times I keep getting lost on words and when I use the rhyme, I find it easy for me to compose. You are right, that limits my choices of words at times…
btw hemal, kal raat ka moon aisa nahi tha :P……i mean the pic shud hv depicted yday’s moon 😀 😛 😉
Yeahhhhh… coz by the time it clicked me to take a pic, it was already setting in the west and behind a building, so couldn’t capture the actual one. Had to create this photoshopped one.
ya ya ya 😛
hey hemal, this one is wonderful…i love these lines
Nights are dark without you,
Miss the passion I have for you
Good going poet :P…..keep it up 🙂
🙂 thank you dudette 😀 yep, even i liked those lines, those are the punch lines actually 😀
cool one…
Thank you thank you thank you 🙂